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The Comic

Now, perhaps you are saying to yourself, "The Fisher King...The Fisher King...Where have I heard that before?" I will let you in on a secret: I did not just put three words together and come up with a cool name, and you probably have heard the name before.

"The Fisher King" is a character from Arthurian legend. He is a king in possession of the Holy Grail, and he is injured, usually below the legs somewhere (sometimes in the foot). Because of his injuries, his land suffers as well, and though many questing knights attempt to heal him, only the right one is able to (this knight usually either Percival (alternatively Parsifal) or Lancelot). Because of his injury, he usually spends his time fishing in the castle moat (thus the name).

But let's go back further in history to the Welsh god King Bran the Blessed. He marries his sister, Branwen, to the Irish king Matholwch, desiring alliances with other Celtic nations. After hearing, however, this his sister is being treated as a common kitchen servant, Bran is angered and declares war on Matholwch. During the battle the Welsh are able to reincarnate their dead with the Magic Cauldron, which can restore the dead to live (though they cannot speak). However, Bran is mortally injured in the foot with a poisoned dart or spear, and requests that his head be buried at Gwynfryn in Caer-Lundein (now where the Tower of London stands). With the Welsh association of the word 'bran' with 'raven,' this may be where the legend that if the ravens leave the Tower of London than the British Empire will fall. However, this is not my point.

In later legends, it is quite likely that Bran, with his injured foot, becomes the Fisher King, and his magic cauldon becomes the Holy Grail.

However, my Fisher King has nothing to do with this story. Sorry. I just like spouting off knowledge.

1. She lives in Vermont, known to some people as being in Canada, which is a lie.

2. Since she first got four goldfish for a science experiment in ninth grade, she has never been without fish, owing an estimated seventy or so fish since then, about ten of which were beta fish, and another five were koi (also, eight were angelfish, and they were very expensive). Also, six have been bottomfeeders, all named Claudius Bartholomew. Also also, there were three crayfish in there; Spikette, Christina, and the unnamed dead one. If pressed really hard, she could probably remember almost all of the other fish's names.

3. Rachel has a make-believe fondness for the Harry Potter Kid, bless his little emo heart. Not that he’ll ever know about it.

4. She has a life-size (we’re assuming it’s life-size, anyway) cardboard cutout of Spock in her bedroom.

5. Of the four jobs and volunteer jobs that she’s held recently, all of them were at a library. Now she works as an assistant to a pastry chef and has to get up at five in the morning to be at work by six.

6. If she could meet three people, they would be: Dave McKean, Diana Wynne Jones, and Neil Cicierega
   (Lemon Demon).

7. The words “An hour wasted is an hour gained! Ahahahaha…that’s not a real saying!” once left her mouth. Also, “The world is my napkin!”

8. She has created, with the help of her friends, a list of skills that you should be able to put on your resume. These include:
   - being able to talk like an old person (convincingly)
   - having cupcakes for every day of the week
   - being a man-boy
   - being immune to amphetamines
   - being a elephant wrangler
   - being able to win the insult war
   - being a untensil-flinger

9. One of her friends wrote a poem one time that included Rachel in it. It said:
   

10.  Estimating roughly, her "collected works" of writing would probably equal between 800 and 1,000 pages.

And now, here's what Lauren has to say about herself:

Lauren lives in Atlanta and likes to drink tea. She hides in her attic a lot. Also she lives there. She has a dog named Cable and she likes nothing more than a good, crappy garage concert in some random guy's backyard. Her favorite color is orange, closely followed by red, with blue coming in for third. She has 20 full sketchbooks on her shelf, and she tends to go through them periodically and rip out pages because she worries that people will see them after she dies, which will probably not be soon, but she worries anyway. Her favorite video game is Guilty Gear. She watches many zombie and zombie-related movies. She is getting into Daikaiju. She dresses like a slightly clean hobo.